Mondays must automatically be trying days.
It wasn’t terrible, but it wasn’t easy. Between hanging out with a stuffy-nosed-baby, being a human-easy-button, and attempting to be productive- I’m exhausted.
That’s why we were all excited when Daddy got home today.
“My Daddy home now!” is the exclamation from his highness, Sir-Asks-A-Lot.
Little Bear smiles at Daddy’s voice and I breathe a sigh of relief that there are two extra hands to provide assistance. Whew.
We played and stayed busy while Chef Daddy prepared dinner.
When it came time to eat Bubba requested his favorite, gummies. Once that was deflected, came round two: Cho-kate (chocolate).
“Daddy, I have cho-kate? I have cho-kate pwease? No dinner, I have cho-kate.”
We convinced him that cho-kate was an after dinner possibility and bought ourselves about 3.75 minutes until he asked again.
A simple no from Mommy sufficed… but what was that? Hesitation from Daddy?
Stay the course man, we can do this. I say with my eyes… you know, one of those looks.
I get the nod and we continue eating.
Bubba asks again. “Umm Mommy, I all done, I have cho-kate now?”
Again, no dice, but we did compromise on adding leftover pizza- at this point if he’s going to eat something that isn’t chocolate, I’m willing to count that as a victory. So now, to paint the picture, he has steak and mac-n-cheese and pizza. #NotHealthy but you guessed it, the Mac-n-cheese is organic and the pizza was homemade. -1, +2ish if we are counting parent points.
(Parent points are kind of like Gryffindor points, having more positive points means both you and the kids survived another day without catastrophic incident, like losing your cool- Bravo!)
Then, there’s the quiet sound like that of a baby cow chewing. He’s eating the steak. Yep, you read that right, Bubba specifically asked for pizza after sitting for 7 minutes with steak on his plate. Once said pizza was placed in front of him, he went for the steak. Oy.
I thought Daddy was going to lose it then, but he kept it together with a brief shake of his head and a chuckle. You do realize this is an every meal occurrence, right? I telepathically ask him.
Funny, no response. Must be on the other line.
Then, Mr. Persistant strikes again. “Daddy, I have cho-kate now? Pwease?” *Head tilt, sweet smile, blink, blink* …and Daddy hesitates. Got ‘em!
Trying to recover Daddy says, “I’ll make a deal with you…” The heck are you doing man? Do you not remember the last deal we made? It ended up with a screaming child succumbing to the power of a bee! (Did you not see that one? Read it here.)
I brace for impact. “If you eat ONE piece of steak or Pizza and ONE scoop of mac-n-cheese you can have chocolate.” Oh gracious… I can barely follow those directions.
Bubba, shockingly, picks up the fork and sticks a piece of steak into his mouth. Then another. Then says “Daddy! I eat it. I have cho-kate now?”
Daddy’s response is ‘sure,’ right? Wrong.
Daddy says “well, I did say one piece of steak and one scoop of mac-n-cheese…”
death-glare from Mommy
“…but looks like you did well! Sure Bud, chocolate it is.” Crisis averted.
He gets a few pieces, devours them and of course, asks for more. Now here is the kicker. He asks for “Free more cho-kate” holding up his five fingers.
“Three more?” Asks Daddy
“Four,” Says Bubba.
“Oh, Four.” Says Daddy
“No five, free, four.” says Bubba holding up all five fingers in earnest.
Guess how many he got… You guessed it, five more chocolates.
Who is up for running laps tonight? Bubba is!
Side Note: These are the chocolate covered blueberry things from Costco- delicious, but tiny. It wasn’t like we were giving him bags of Reese’s cups. We’re not that crazy.
We did learn several things:
1)Daddy can’t read minds.
2)Bubba is going to be a lawyer or negotiation specialist someday.
3)Bubba can’t count, but it doesn’t matter because Daddy is wrapped around his tiny fingers, all five of them.
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