He Loves Her, He Loves Us Not

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When I had Bubba it was a love like I’ve never felt before. Moms, you get me. It’s something you can’t really explain unless you’ve been there. I remember thinking ‘I love my dog, how could I love a baby more than I love my first dog.’
Ha! Silly me. It’s a baby that I birthed… that’s how.
That’s not to take anything away from those who adopt as well- it’s the same overwhelming-this-baby-is-mine-forever feeling.
So when we discovered we were expecting baby number two we were: excited, elated, happy, overjoyed, nervous, worried, scared and terrified –well that escalated quickly.
I discovered two huge questions:
1) Is Bubba going to be nice to the baby & will he feel neglected?
2) Will I love this baby as much as I love Bubba?
Now, I like to think I’m an intelligent individual so I know I am capable of loving this child as much as I love my first; but emotionally it was hard to wrap my head around. How was it possible? It is possible- but that’s fodder for another post, another time.

It’s safe to say, once Little Bear arrived we didn’t have to worry about question one all that much. We had read the articles and tried to do our best when preparing and introducing Bubba to his new little sister. We let him talk to her when I was pregnant. He had a habit of walking over to lift my shirt off my belly and talk to her. He’d wave to my giant belly-bump and say “Hi baby!” We talked about how she would be here to stay. Oma even gave him a baby-doll from my childhood. He and that baby were inseparable for weeks before Little Bear arrived. He named her (the doll) baby Isaac. Yup- ask me about that one another time.
When Bubba came to visit us in the hospital we made sure that Little Bear was near us, but sleeping in the hospital bassinet so we could hug and love on Bubba since we hadn’t seen him overnight. He was so excited to see her (and us). First thing he said was that he wanted to “Picka Up.” Hold your horses buddy, she’s fragile. Happy boy, happy mommy & daddy and happy baby.

Then, we arrived home and everything changed.

Well, not really. Actually, nothing in that realm really changed at all.
Bubba is still obsessed with her. B&LB
“Where is she? Is she hungry? Is she sleeping? I hug her. I give her kisses. I give her binky. She need blanket. I hold her. I picka up. Look Mama, she saying ‘hi’ to me.” and the list continues.
His Mommy & Daddy on the other hand- we’re yesterday’s granola bar shoved between the couch cushions: old news. Don’t get me wrong. He still loves us and is happy to have us around but we are definitely second fiddle to his sister, and we’re okay with that. Just this morning when I got him out of bed I said.
“Can mommy have kisses?”
“No kisses in my mouth for Mommy.” He said. Oh
Then, when we got downstairs: “There she is! I give her kisses Mommy.”
Thanks Bud…
I’ll take it for as long as it lasts because I know- I have siblings (who I love and get along with)- at some point they’ll go through a period where they’re not the best-of-friends. Probably when she’s big enough to touch his stuff. I’ll take this for now and ride the bench until he needs me again.

 

Be Great,
M

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