The Lost Woman

Many people say they ‘found themselves’ when they got married, had children or some other life-changing event. I can definitely say that our life changed when Bubba was born, then again when Little Bear made her debut. Looking back, it’s been a busy almost 3 years.

I have, in essence, spent the last 2.5 years in some state of ‘pregnancy.’ That’s one heck of a long time. That also means as much as I tried not to, I’ve let some things…go… hair, makeup, attire.
Prior to last week, I don’t think I bought anything clothing-wise that came from a store other than Target in way too long.

I chalked it up to the idea that I’m a new mom (again) and so I should cut myself some slack. That makes perfect sense right? Well for a bit, yes, but then I used it as a crutch. I didn’t put on makeup in the morning because I’m a new mom, who has time for makeup? or I didn’t dry my hair because I’ve got two little kids, it’s just going up in a ponytail. I didn’t go out to do things because It’s too hard with two little kids, the wrangling won’t be worth the effort, we’ll just stay home. I’ve been doing myself a disservice. My husband had gently tried to mention it a few times before. Things like “Are you okay? You seem a bit sad.” or “Is everything alright? You just feel a bit down today.” and he was absolutely right. Between the lack of sleep, being constantly on call and working from home- I wasn’t giving myself the attention I needed. So, as mentioned in a previous post, I started taking my ‘five minutes.’ That doesn’t mean I had entirely solved the problem.

Last week I had some photos done for something I’m working on. I was feeling a bit worried, I’ve had two kids- these are going to look like wet dog-poo! But that meant I needed to get myself in gear. The works: hair, makeup, nails, attire, help!
I am lucky that I have a fantastic support system.
My mom took the time to help me pick out several outfits, that I love and feel comfortable in. They, bonus, don’t make me feel like a circus tent and I’m excited to wear them. Attire: Check!
My very best girlfriend from childhood has an absolute gift. She is able to take tired, worn-out, baby-spit-up me and make me feel amazing. She fixed my way-too-long hair, did my makeup in a natural yet photogenic way and just sent my confidence soaring. Appearance: Check!
Somewhere during this process, I found myself again. I gave myself the chance to be a professional entrepreneur and look like one! I allowed myself to remove the self-doubt and just be confident. It is amazing how much I was holding myself back. Now, we know appearance isn’t everything, nor should it be. But it is for you. You allow yourself to be comfortable in your own skin. You decide what looks best on you and how you feel most confident. You have the ability to make or break your self-image. I’m telling you, at one point I had stopped looking in the mirror. Can you imagine that? One day I thought to myself, I’ve showered, brushed my teeth and hair, put on an outfit, it’s 3 pm, and I am not entirely sure that I looked at myself. It’s easy to do when you’re chasing a toothbrush-waving-toddler around the room but I had no idea how I looked. Did how I look really matter? No, but it reminded me that when I think I look good, I feel good. When I feel good, I put out good. And when I put out good it comes back.

Whew. It’s a process, but I think I’m back.
We’re creating a routine that involves us going out to book clubs, church, and playdates.
We are working, well I am working, on going outside of my comfort zones a little and making new friends.
You’d better bet, I’m taking the time to look in the mirror.

Be Great,
M

 

A SUPER big Thank YouVisuals by J. McKenzie to for the fabulous photos and taking the time to make me feel comfortable!

11 thoughts on “The Lost Woman

  1. Reading the beginning of this post made me a bit sad at first. But I perked up when I “heard” the joy in your voice. I don’t have children but I have many friends who do. They’ve all hit that “spot” that you’ve written of here. But after a 2-3 year stint with it, they catch their stride again. Believe it or not, even ppl without kids have temporary stints with IDC (I don’t care). A lot of things contribute to it: stressful jobs, taking care of sick family member, being sick yourself. But we all regain our stride eventually. I’m so glad your on the ascent! Let’s keep that up!

  2. You are beautiful inside and out! i am in the middle stage where I am just making it day to day. It’s been really hard. It’s amazing to see someone come out the other side.

  3. We all have moments in our lives when we feel lost, and can’t seem to find way to come back to land — so to speak. I’m glad you’re looking to add more outings with your family!

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