The Mommy-Wars: Favorites

Raindrops on roses
And whiskers on kittens
Bright copper kettles
And warm woolen mittens
Brown paper packages tied up with strings
These are a few of my favorite things

I love The Sound of Music. One of my favorite movies of all time. I have too many favorite movies to list so I think every movie I like tends to be “one of my favorites.” I have many favorite things.
My favorite summer evening activity is to hang out at a friend or family’s house and watch the kids play and just chat.
My favorite music depends on the day, and my mood.
My favorite color is green.
My favorite animal is a shark.
My favorite sound is Bubba’s laughter and Little Bear’s cooing.
My favorite sight is my family, happy.
My favorites have changed as I have changed. I feel a little sadness and like I’ve let my former self down when I stop to think about it.

Now Bubba’s favorites are capricious at best. They are never really pinned down for too long.
One favorite that is constant: his favorite people are his family.
His first words out of bed are “My Daddy at work?”
He always wants to hold Little Bear.
He asks about his grandparents daily.
The phone rings and he asks if it’s Aunt M.
He hears a drum? Must be his Uncle E.
Found his firetruck toy- we get a story about how Aunt J gave it to him.
He loves his people.

His other favorites change daily.
Yesterday we loved waffles. Today, no way, peanut butter toast. Duh.
Yesterday we had to watch Ryan’s Toy Review. Today, Thomas of Sodor. Yes, that’s how he asks for Thomas the Tank. Sometimes it even comes out as Thomas and Friends, Making Tracks to Great Destinations. If you decipher that from his mouth on the first try, 100 gold stars for you!
Yesterday we must only play with trains, all the trains. Today, it’s the guitar and dancing.

How awesome it must be to quite literally be able to like anything just because you like it?
Why do I have to pin down a favorite TV show, or a favorite food? Today I may want hot wings. Tomorrow, I’m probably going to want fresh fruit. Does that make me indecisive or fickle? I think not. In fact, it makes me quite decisive because, blast it, I know what I want, it just… changes sometimes.  Why are we categorized, moms we do this to each other, into concrete groups based on what we like or do?
She breastfeeds so she must do all organic.” Uhh nope. We eat cookies here, and I don’t know about you but I’m pretty sure the Girl Scouts haven’t gone organic. Plus, hello, formula is expensive.
Can you believe she lets him watch TV- he must be so far behind with his verbal skills.” “Watch TV” is a loose phrase, if he would actually sit and watch something I’d be with you actually no. TV isn’t bad, and it’s not a babysitter, we find a balance. Oh, and come chat with him for a minute, his verbal skills are a-ok. (Side note: New phrase “I just can’t believe it, Mommy!”)
Ugh, the judging and the worry that comes with it…exhausting.
The groups are arbitrary. They’re made up, and silly, and pointless, and maddening. We all like what we like and we do what we do because we can. That’s the great part of being an adult. If I don’t want to eat broccoli, I don’t have to. We make our choices and we don’t have to explain them to anyone. Usually. We all have a set of core values but after that…its up in the air. So, there is no one right answer. There are several possibilities in most cases. No one right and true favorite. No reason to be inflexible. Talk, share and listen with an open heart. Don’t be afraid. You might even find a new favorite something.

Be Great,
M

11 thoughts on “The Mommy-Wars: Favorites

  1. These are great insights- and I’m not even a mom! 🙂 Just a former nanny with a psych degree.
    But seriously, we all do this. Often we do it to make ourselves feel better for the decision we’ve made (usually the opposite of whatever we’re putting down).
    If one mom makes a bad comment about another mom letting her kids watch TV, she’s usually doing it to make herself feel better about the decisions she’s made regarding TV in her own household, more than she is trying to put the other mom down. Seems like moms put a lot of pressure on themselves to be the best. Really, we’re all doing the best we can with what we have. As long as you love your kiddos as much and as best as you’re able every day, no one can judge.
    Thanks for sharing your thoughts.
    On another note, Sound of Music is my favorite movie.

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