The Other Woman

I’ve talked about the man in my home- but I neglected to inform you of the other woman.
I can’t stand her.
She’s moody and irritable, her patience is slim to none and she’s often disheveled.
How did we ever let her in here? Get. Her. Out.
Oh, wait. That’s a mirror.20160824_155801
Surprise, the other woman is me.
As new mothers, and I say new mothers as in mothers of new babies regardless of how many they’ve had before, we take on a lot and so much is required of us.
If you’re breastfeeding, it’s midnight meals.
If you’re formula feeding… it’s midnight meals.
Then you’re on-call every 3-5 hours during the day. Add in another munchkin or two and it’s easy to see how you’d forget to eat lunch or shower at 3pm instead of 8am.
Ahh, but the other side of the sword is that there is no place else you’d rather be than with your babies. That’s why so many women cherish maternity leave. Though it’s hard it’s so very worth it.
“Why don’t you let your husband help?”
Umm, I do- there is no way I could do most of this without backup. I can’t imagine how single parents survive. BUT some days, Little Bear just wants mommy. Apparently, this is normal and part of her development, thanks BabyCenter email. That doesn’t make it any less busy, or tiring.
“We can come help if you need us to.”
I appreciate it, really I do, but sometimes I just need those few moments when she falls asleep to sit quietly, can’t do that if I’m also entertaining.
“You don’t have to entertain.”
No, but my Mama raised me right, I’m not going to just disappear and leave you to fend for yourself in my well-lived-in home.
It’s cool-really, I’ve got this. Please don’t think I’m neglecting you or think I don’t want your help. I promise, when I need it, I’ll ask.

When Bubba was tiny, we went through the Mommy-Only phase. With him, it ended up being Stranger-Avoidance combined with Mommy-Only. I had arms like a woodsman from carrying him all the time. Then, one weekend, it switched. Just like a lightswitch, click, he wanted Daddy. Mommy-Only, was over.

I know that time is coming again and it’s probably coming faster than I want it to, selfishly. But come, it will. Until then, this other woman will have to continue to navigate through these first few months. I’m hoping she’ll pull it together a little.  She’ll continue to find random patches of baby drool on her shoulders and prefer yoga pants to buttons and zippers. Will it kill her to throw on some eyeliner and mascara, if only to make herself feel better, I doubt it. Slowly but surely, I’m sure she’ll find her way out- and into a stronger and more confident Mommy- until then, we’ll coexist. At least Little Bear is sleeping through the night now.

Be Great,
M

28 thoughts on “The Other Woman

  1. I hear what you are going through you just want a 5 minute if that to relax but can’t I envy people with 3-4 kids. I only have 1 son so it’s not as stressful as having a few more, but just do you and ask for him when you need it (:

  2. Whew! Parenting is not easy! I don’t have kiddos, but I’ve heard about the pressure and judgement moms get to be this perfect parent. To do it all, and look great doing it. Maybe that works for some, but for most it’s a fantasy. I think it’s good to give yourself lots and lots of grace. Parents only ever do the best they can with what they have.

  3. sounds like a struggle, thank you for sharing as I know you are not the only person who is dealing with this kind of thing. Everything will pass and nothing is permanent!

  4. It is not easy and I am a first time mom with a little one and a lot of the time when I feel like yes I got the hang of this, something makes me doubt myself. It is a roller coaster of emotions at times but I love my little one so much – for him I would do it over and over again. I am always my own worst enemy. I think you are doing better than you think you are. Moms are usually tougher than they let themselves believe.

  5. all of this!!!! I am the mom of 4 and sometimes I swear……things are hard and i turn into a monster. But remember to give yourself grace! Thanks for sharing your experience

  6. I just got married and we’re thinking of having our own baby soon. I know it’s hard and no matter how many stories I’ve read or tips I got from my friends and sister, I know nothing will prepare me for this. But thank you for this post – for making me realize that it’s okay to not get it together. No one is ever good at being a mom and it’s always an ongoing process!

    Abby of Life in the Fash Lane

  7. Absolutely stick together! Mom’s need the support of other moms, not judgement. There is no “wrong” in this, only “best for you.” This time becomes a vision in the rear view mirror more quickly than you realize. Enjoy, oh, and you ARE great!

  8. I don’t have kids but I feel that parenting is so hard especially for moms as they have to juggle between work-life balance! I can only suggest you that don’t worry much, this moment will pass away soon when your kids will grow up!
    Also, glad that you started blogging because it must be giving you a platform to share your experiences as well as acting like stress buster from your present mommy life! I love reading about your day to day experiences with your kids, so NEVER stop writing! 🙂
    XOXO, Ana

  9. Meg you nailed it! II know there are days that I wake up and get ready to “work from home” with my 3 year old and look ready to go! Then there are those days where nothing is clean, I haven’t showered and my tiny tot has more energy than I can wrangle. I totally love how you put that person as the other woman. I know we don’t want to realize that at times, but we are capable of and deserve a little down time. Not all the time, but sometimes. So, enjoy that little one and enjoy your season of downtime 😀

  10. I don’t have kids yet but I believe you when you say it’s a tough job.
    But you seem to know what you’re doing and manage to have fun while you’re doing it 🙂

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